After completing my first year of college, I’ve realized how much more I need to work in order to graduate in 3 years.

I used to be such a great student. Now, I’m mediocre. 
I wish GPA was not the determining factor of how someone does in school.

I’m a terrible test taker. I have concentration issues, and even the smallest of distractions take away from my focus. The sound of people tapping their pencil on the desk, people chewing gum, people sniffling their noses, the flicking of pages, and squeaks of chairs and desks. Even somebody next to me jiggling their leg around. All are huge distractions to me.
Perhaps that’s why I’ve historically done poorly on tests and exams. Even with state testing, AP exams, and the SAT/ACT, I was considered an average based on my scores.

Now when I got those results, it was definitely disheartening. I felt stupid, being considered “average”, or “below average” in math. And after finishing my first year of college and getting my grades, I’m even more disappointed. Not just my grades, but because I let myself get those grades.  

The fact that college grades are basically determined by exams, I find it somewhat unfair. Or to me, it’s a major disadvantage. I’d much rather write an essay covering the entire semester, and say what I’ve learned. Hell, make it a 10 page essay. I’d do it. I am a far better writer than I am a test taker. Give me a couple days and I can pound out a real good essay. With minimal distractions, of course. But I can surely do it.

Hoping next year will be different. I’ll actually take my butt over to that program for students with learning disabilities. Sure, mine may not be as big of a “disability”, but my concentration has impacted my learning. 

Here’s to decent GPA’s and a happier Ashley next year.